Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
