I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
should my penis look like a turkey
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
