belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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