i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
