sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
