my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize