I accidentally burped into my bong.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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