So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
