Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
