Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
