I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
