i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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