Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.