Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?