One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Pants are for mortals
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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