I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
