Texts From Last Night

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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out

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  (306): Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out http://tfl.nu/kvs3
  Replies (5) Good night (688) Bad night (817)
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  (408): View more from California

  i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.

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  (408): i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person. http://tfl.nu/pbus
  Replies (18) Good night (5103) Bad night (990)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure

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  (+66): A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure http://tfl.nu/u013
  Replies (24) Good night (6801) Bad night (1718)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands

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  (518): I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands http://tfl.nu/jxb1
  Replies (12) Good night (4307) Bad night (1490)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.

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  (918): I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka. http://tfl.nu/0tbw
  Replies (4) Good night (2669) Bad night (804)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles

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  (651): The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles http://tfl.nu/ulwd
  Replies (7) Good night (3250) Bad night (729)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?

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  (+61): I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above? http://tfl.nu/c1r4
  Replies (7) Good night (1994) Bad night (716)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.

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  (731): I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come. http://tfl.nu/qxho
  Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (1622)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

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  (360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people. http://tfl.nu/w1ks
  Replies (33) Good night (3054) Bad night (959)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.

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  (512): I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/ufwf
  Replies (28) Good night (4024) Bad night (634)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.

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  (443): Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face. http://tfl.nu/p4qr
  Replies (5) Good night (1249) Bad night (402)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!

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  (651): Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday! http://tfl.nu/4hno
  Replies (5) Good night (1019) Bad night (471)
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  (831): View more from California

  I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.

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  (831): I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life. http://tfl.nu/o2k1
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (268)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash

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  (516): Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash http://tfl.nu/gbbj
  Replies (7) Good night (775) Bad night (291)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.

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  (920): Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass. http://tfl.nu/fgjj
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (370)

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