he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville