Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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