Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
