all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
