I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
