that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
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Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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