This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We smell like vodka and hangover
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
