ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
