nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
