i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
