Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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