I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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