Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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