I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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