hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
