What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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