I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
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He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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