He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
