Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
