I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
