so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
