Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
