please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
