your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize