i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
