Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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