We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
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I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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