allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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