Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
should my penis look like a turkey
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
