it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
