There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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