Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
