3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
