He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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