He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
