So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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