let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm bleeding and have questions
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
