Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
