when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
