By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
