Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
