so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
