I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
