U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
