i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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