He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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