Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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