I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Randomize
