I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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