Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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