if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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