need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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