Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
