roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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