Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
