ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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